The Many Uses Of Bottles
by Please.Insert.Name
Summary: Truth Or Dare, the profilers natural enemy. However, with a powercut, and Garcia's... persuasiveness, they are forced together. Just how far will one go not to do a forfeit? And will any of them be able to pass a Psyche Eval again? Whole team, but from Hotch's POV.
1. Chapter 1

The lights had gone out. The lights never, ever went out. One thing was for sure, Hotch was going to have some serious words with the maintenance staff. Paperwork by torch wasn't fun, it made holding the pen hard.

Why didn't God make him ambidextrous?

That question added to the bank of _'What I'm going to ask Peter outside the pearly gates'_ Aaron turned back to the problem at hand.

The lights were out.

The sound of rattling chains followed by a 'Woo-ing' noise made him raise his eyebrows, and effect totally made redundant by the fact no one could see him.

"Dave, I know that's you," he said dryly, standing up, and pulling the door open with more force than was necessary - it was either take his frustration out on that or people, and breaking a door wouldn't send him to jail.

"Any idea why there's a blackout?" Dave's voice rang up the corridor.

"Blackout? Remembering the war again?" Dave chuckled at this, "I thought it was just me."

"Nope," came Rossi's helpful reply.

"I'll phone maintenance, can you check on the rest of the team?" Thinking he saw a nod, Hotch groped his way back into his office, nearly getting more intimate with the wall than he would have liked.

Lifting the phone from it's cradle, his suspicions were confirmed.

The line was dead.

One more check showed cell phone service was also down.

By no means was Aaron Hotchner addicted to technology, but the icy panic that flooded his gut was more than justified when he looked out the window.

When had all that snow gotten there? He really should open his blinds more.

"The team's fine, but apparently there's been an accident at the entrance since the main generator has went down. The back-up should kick in, but apparently we were already on the back-up since some wise guy thought we could cut it's expense from the budget," the annoyance was more than evident in Rossi's tone, and Hotch suppressed a snort.

"So we're stuck here, in the dark," surmised Hotch.

"Hey, at least it's nearly Christmas!" said Rossi sarcastically.

"Yeah, I'm sure Garcia will have some festive game for us whilst we wait to leave," chuckled Hotch. For the past week Garcia had been trying to get them all in the Christmas spirit, only for Reid to make her almost cry with all the reasons why Christmas wasn't actually the birthday of Jesus.

He was the only one that hadn't got Christmas cookies.

Now, Garcia felt like they had lost their inner child, and that never sat well with the Goddess of All Things Tech. Every lunchtime she had tried to get them to play some game from their childhood, and whilst seeing Morgan, Prentiss, and Reid try to untangle themselves from Twister was quite funny, no one really wanted to play these things.

"Maybe we can just stay in our offices," suggested Rossi, but that hope was soon dashed when Garcia appeared, torch in hand, and a grin that never promised anything good.

"I'm afraid I don't have anything to sit this out with," the two men breathed a sigh of relief, "But Morgan suggested Truth Or Dare, do you want to play?"

It really was nice for her to phrase it as a question, but both Agents knew an order when they heard one.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I felt like writing another humour fic, and I've seen a lot of 'Truth Or Dare' fics, and wanted to try my hand at it. I hope you like the set up, and I would appreciate it if you could give me truths or dares for the team, I will try and fit them in the next chapter, or future ones :)_

_Random Note: This is my 50th fic... Yay!  
><em>

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds *sigh*_

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter._


	2. Chapter 2

Hotch thought he could make out the forms of Prentiss, Reid, Morgan, and JJ, but in this darkness he could be walking towards to group of strategically placed lamps for all he knew. As it was, Morgan was busy hanging torches from the ceiling, and soon they had light... albeit ghoulish, low-budget horror movie light, and he saw Reid shaking slightly, inching closer to Morgan who sat in the brightest space.

Taking a seat, Hotch was happy to notice the uncomfortable looks on all his team members faces bar Garcia. This gave him hope that he actually had a team of elite FBI agents, and not children in a playground. However, given the look Garcia was giving them, as she wielded an empty water bottle like some deadly weapon, it wasn't wise to air this thought right now. Or ever, actually.

"Right, whoever the bottle lands on has to do a truth or dare," said Garcia simply, and Hotch was reminded of the Golden Time that Jack always went on about.

"What's the forfeit, Baby Girl?" asked Morgan, and Hotch had to give him credit for how enthusiastic he looked - given that the rest of them looked about as excited as an atheist at Easter, this wasn't hard.

"Hmm, the forfeit is taking off an article of clothing and passing it to the person left of you to wear, and no, socks, or small articles count. Why would I pass up this chance to see my Chocolate God of Thunder in all his glory after all," replied Garcia, grinning, only to get one returned by Morgan, along with a 'Likewise, Mama Bear, likewise."

Looking to the left of him, Hotch realised he had Emily. Although, it could be worse, he could be Morgan sitting to the left of Reid.

"Okaydoke, lets see who's first," Garcia placed the bottle on Prentiss's desk and spun it, all captivated by the bottle lid and who it would land on.

"Oh yay, me," said Rossi dryly.

"Is it true half of the fraternisation rules are because of you," asked JJ, her eyes alive with curiosity.

"... Well, I did play a big part," chuckled Rossi.

"I can back this up, unfortunately I had to witness his part," added Hotch, grimacing over the amount of times he had innocently walked into the supply room, only to see more of his mentor than he really was supposed to.

"I see we aren't hiding anything," remarked Morgan, an amused grin sliding onto his features, but slight panic in his eyes belying his confidence.

"Nope, and if you do, you will be in technological Hell," warned Garcia, a sweet smile contrasting with her words and making her appear all the more deadly. "Now, who's next?"

"Emily?" asked Garcia, as the bottle indicated it was her turn.

"Dare," said Emily, without a hint of fear on her face.

"Hmm, I dare you to give Reid a lap dance." One look at Emily told him that she knew that Garcia knew she wouldn't do the dare.

"I forfet," she said, unbuttoning her blouse, and handing it to Reid. The scary thing about this was that it actually fitted him, although it did look a tad tight. The awkward thing about this was that it was now very hard to look at Emily - he was a man after all, despite the rumours of him being a robot.

Hotch gulped when it next landed on him.

"Right, Boss Man, truth or dare?" Garcia looked too happy with this to be a good thing, and for the safety of his dignity he chose 'truth'.

Moments later he wished he hadn't.

"Was Haley your first?" asked Garcia, and Hotch furrowed his brow.

"What do you mean?" If she was asking what he thought she was asking...

"She wants to know if Haley was the first woman you slept with, Aaron," Rossi's eyes held a challenge that Hotch wished wasn't there, and he gulped slightly, unable to back down with his pride on the line.

"Yes, she was the first woman I slept beside," Hotch was happy he had side-stepped that question, and Garcia narrowed her eyes at him, before spinning the bottle again, muttering about how lawyers are all the same.

"Dare," she said confidently, when it landed on her.

"I dare you to hang your bra from the light," said Prentiss, and Hotch stilled with shock. Would Garcia actually do it? Moments later, he conceded she would, when he saw a pink, sequin patterned push-up bra hanging in front of his face. The look she shot him after that quite clearly conveyed_ 'I've done this, so if you aren't going to play properly, you will pay.'_

"I never thought you would do that PG!" Emily shook her head a little, a smile forming on her face, satisfied with her revenge.

"I was dared to, just pray it doesn't land on you again," said Garcia, the devilish grin back again. Then she got up, and quickly put her bra back on. Just as he was about to say something, she beat him to it, "No time was placed on my dare, you have to be specific."

The smile slide of Emily's face, and it was then they realised they were dealing with a master.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback! I'm drawing from my vault of past dares in this one, and I encourage you to do the same - I will run out eventually! I hope you enjoyed this chapter... or it at least made you chuckle, and please review!_

_Also, Happy Holidays to those who celebrate! I'll try and update again soon, but with the family coming up, and a challenge fic to complete, it may be a few days :)  
><em>

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds, apparently a hug wasn't enough to get the rights :'(_

_I apologise for any spelling and/or grammar mistakes contained within this chapter._


	3. Chapter 3

Hotch had never seen so much fear on someone's face before. From chasing down unsubs, to waking Jack from a nightmare, no one had looked so scared as JJ did right now. If Garcia held any mercy, it was gone along with the electricity... and Hotch hoped to whatever deity was up there that it would come on soon! Not having his phone was making him antsy.

"JJ," Garcia drawled out the initials, relishing every moment, "Truth or Dare?"

"Truth," replied the profiler, her voice steady as she regained control over her expression.

"What is your favourite form of foreplay?" asked Morgan, "Reid, you might want to take notes," he added cheekily.

"Payback is a bitch, Morgan... Remember?" To be perfectly honest, Reid looking threatening was hard at the best of time, Reid looking threatening whilst in a blouse was damn near impossible.

"Yeah, yeah... Bring it," replied Morgan lazily, stretching like a smug cat. "Answer the question, Jay-je."

"Do I really have to?" JJ's eyes flicked to Hotch's, but he nodded sadly, the glare Garcia was sending him was practically drilling holes into the side of his head.

"It's either that or an item of clothing," added Garcia, just a little too cheerfully.

"Fine... I like it when a guy pays attention to my neck. Too much boob action makes me feel like a bit of meat, but..." JJ trailed off, a delicate blush forming on her features.

"I know what you mean," agreed Garcia, before fixing her attention on the men, and a look on her face that said she was about to impart them with some Garcia brand wisdom. "You four, next time your with a woman remember there are more than two areas she likes attention to!"

"Believe me, I know," said Rossi, his eyes glittering with amusement.

"Ew, Rossi!" complained Emily, and Hotch couldn't help but agree with that juvenile statement.

"Just saying," replied the elder calmly.

How this had turned all about sex, Hotch never knew, but he would rather get out of this night with the ability to still pass a psych eval!

When the next turn was Morgan's, Hotch suppressed a groan as his earlier wish was rendered impossible.

"Truth or Dare?" Garcia's voice was pure sex - something the Unit Chief never knew could exist until now - and Morgan smiled back, his grin full of dark promises.

"Dare, Baby Girl. Hit me with your worst."

"Give Emily a lap dance," replied Garcia, her eyes shining with merriment.

The grin slid right off Morgan's face.

"Oh, you are evil woman!" he muttered, before gathering up whatever sex appeal he had, and strutting over to a very embarrassed Emily. "Sorry about this"

"We'll see, prove what your always bragging about," Emily's words held a challenge, but anyone could see from her profile that she was still uncomfortable.

Hotch never knew where to look, and Garcia's squeals of delight were making more than unwanted images appear in his mind. Emily was grinning slightly, her hands on his gyrating hips, as he flexed his muscles erotically. And then... thankfully... it was over.

"Hmm, I'd say six out of ten," said Emily dismissively.

"Well you can practice on me any day!" Garcia said emphatically, her hand already reaching for the bottle again.

As it landed on Reid, Hotch had to amend his earlier observation, the look of sheer terror on his features far out did JJ's...

"Truth or Dare?" asked Garcia.

"Logically, I can embarrass myself more with a dare, as we've just witnessed," Morgan punched him lightly on the shoulder, Reid just smirked back, before adding, "Truth."

"Are you still in touch with Lila?" asked Emily, leaning forward slightly. It wasn't a coincidence that all the men did the same, her state of undress was getting uncomfortable.

"Who's Lila?" asked Rossi, leaning back, and looking expectantly for an answer.

"Lila Archer, an actress we helped on a case a few years back," replied Hotch.

"You're missing out the best bit Hotch. An actress, who Wonder Boy over their pulled," Morgan looked impressed as he said this, and Reid blushed slightly.

"I've heard of her,_ lovely _girl," Rossi even managed to make the word 'lovely' perverted, and Hotch rolled his eyes.

"I'm actually going to see her on my AL," confessed Reid, and Morgan clapped him on the back, the way a proud dad would their son after their first goal in football.

"Aw, that's sweet, Spence," said JJ, smiling at her friend.

"Yeah, have fun-" started Emily.

"And tell us all the details," interrupted Garcia.

"Okay, next!" called Rossi, looking slightly bored talking about Reid's love life.

Spinning the bottle, Hotch gulped as it once more landed on him.

"Truth or Dare?" he knew he would hate those words by the time this was finished.

Even though Reid's logic was sound, Hotch could tell from Garcia's eyes that he would have to pick dare, and that if he never, some form of Hell awaited him with the power back on. Although, with his dodging of the last truth, he had already expected something like this, he just hoped it wouldn't be so bad.

"Dare," he said confidently, and when Garcia's grin widened, he knew he was in trouble.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback, I'm glad you like it so far! Sorry this is up late, last week I was busy with my family, and this week we had a epic powercut when I was going to write this... the irony. _

**_ Any ideas for Hotch's dare? I'm finding it hard to come up with them now!_**

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds, apparently a hug wasn't enough to get the rights :'(_

_I would appreciate it if you review :)_


	4. Chapter 4

"I dare you to tell us your three most embarrassing sexual experiences," said Garcia devilishly. For all Hotch knew she could have been giving him a death sentence, and he felt his face pale.

Thankfully, the lawyer in him chose that moment to surface.

"I said Dare, that means I need to do something," he argued, giving her his best glare - Glare 42: Known side affects include shaking, wetting oneself, or in rare cases fainting.

"Oh, Mon Capitane, when does answering a question not count as doing something?" returned Garcia, and it appeared she was immune to the most powerful glare in his arsonary.

"Well actually, you could saying doing something means some sort of physical act," piped up Reid, and even wearing Emily's blouse Hotch wanted to hug him.

"Trust me Doctor Reid, there are plenty of physical things one can do with their tongue," Garcia deliberately made her voice husky, before adding in a perky tone, "Talking is one of them."

Reid went five shades deeper than red at her remark, and Hotch caught the_ 'Sorry, I tried look,'_ in his eyes.

Well it wouldn't be Reid getting extra paperwork this week!

"Aaron, you can't forfeit. What kind of example is that to set for the team?" asked Rossi, looking as if he was very much enjoying Hotch squirming.

"Better than shagging Strauss in the supply closet," muttered Hotch darkly.

"I used to respect you, man!" yelled Morgan, glee evident in his tone.

"Hey, you never saw her back in the day," Rossi's eyes took on a look that showed he wasn't just thinking about Strauss in a platonic way. A shudder went around the other occupants in the room.

Garcia cleared her throat, "Hotch, I believe you have some answers to give."

Oh, crap. For a moment he had forgotten the Sword of Damocles was hanging over his head, only getting lower by the seconds.

"You could start with your first time," said Emily, looking too happy for the moment.

She was definitely getting the extra paperwork.

"It was with Haley. We were in her parents beach house. They were out for the day going around the town, and we had wriggled out of it-"

"Before or after you wriggled horizontally?" asked Rossi.

"Shhh!" shushed most members of the team.

"Well, uh, everything was going smoothly, and we were just about to finish when her dog Baxter rushed in followed by her parents. It had started to rain and so they had came back early. Dinner was an awkward affair that night," Hotch could still see the mortification in Haley's eyes combined with the embarrassment in her parents. It was one of those memories that was burned into his skull.

"Your first time?" asked Morgan, crumbling into fits of laughter.

"It's nice to note that SSA Aaron Hotchner wasn't always so smooth," laughed JJ.

"That reminds me of the time you came round and found me with Kevin in the shower," said Garcia to Rossi, and if Hotch never knew better, she was trying to take some of the heat off him.

"I saw much more of that man than I ever wanted to see," grumbled Rossi.

"Anyway!" yelled Prentiss over the laughter, "What's the next one?"

"Um…" Hotch really did have to think about this, he wasn't often embarrassed in matters concerning the bedroom. "I guess after Jack was born. He used to walk in on us. We had to go over the whole 'special cuddle' story and after that romance wasn't really on our minds." He still cringed from Jack asking him outside school why he wouldn't give him a special cuddle like he did with mummy. The looks the Principal shot him made him thankful social wasn't involved.

"Wait, wait, wait!" called Morgan, "That's like almost a thirty year gap!"

"Yeah, Boss Man, what happened in between?" asked Garcia.

"A lot," supplied Rossi, grinning.

"No way! Hotch is the last person that would sleep around!" objected JJ, and Hotch threw her a grateful look.

"He wasn't always with Haley, that's all I'm saying," said Rossi.

"Thanks, Dave," bit out Hotch, "Haley and I were 'off' and 'on' a lot. It's part of the reason why we married so late. In that time I know she saw other men, and so I thought 'Fuck it'!"

"That's understandable," said Emily, and reason returned to the room once more.

"So, who was the lucky lady?" asked Morgan.

"Was it Kate Joyner?" asked JJ, and Hotch felt a brief smattering of grief assault him.

"She was… One of them," he said finally.

"I knew it!" yelled Prentiss.

"How the Hell did you guess?" asked Hotch, running his hands through his hair and wincing as a few strands pulled free.

"A woman knows," said Garcia mysteriously.

"Oh please, anyone could see it, female or otherwise," said Reid.

"Aaron, you may have a good poker face, but remember that other's don't," answered Rossi, and Hotch guessed she had acted pretty familiar with him when they consulted.

"I think we've embarrassed our Fearless Leader enough," said Garcia in an unusual moment of mercy. Spinning the bottle, she squealed as it landed on Rossi.

"That can't be good," muttered the older profiler, and Hotch couldn't help but agree. "Truth."

"So… Strauss… Supply closet?" Morgan made the words sound like a question.

"We were young. She was getting some paper for the copy machine. I saw an opportunity," said Rossi, oblivious to the looks of horror on all the other Agents faces. Reid looked like he was going to be sick.

"Is she as feisty in that department as she is in her work?" asked Morgan casually.

"Ew, Morgan!" yelled Emily, slapping him on the arm.

"You can't blame a guy for being curious," he shrugged in response.

"Put it this way. She's made my top five," said Rossi cryptically.

"Personally I would like to stop thinking of Strauss in that way, that's almost as bad as some of the scumbags you ask me to look at. Next!" called Garcia, spinning the bottle once more.

Emily gulped as it landed on her, her arms instinctively wrapping around her chest protectively. Hotch had to admit, there WAS a lot to protect. No… He was not going to be done for sexual harassment just because a subordinate had her top off in front of him. Was he really that pathetic?

"Truth," Emily finally answered.

In an effort to get his mind away from sex, Hotch then blurted out, "Why did you join the FBI?"

Everyone's expressions clearly said:_ "Lame question!"_

He shrugged as if to say: _"Whatever."_

"I wanted to be an FBI Agent ever since I had a security detail when I was younger. The confidence, the freedom, and the idea of helping people directly appealed to me, and I fell in love with the idea of going into law enforcement instantly," replied Emily.

"Wait… Wasn't Hotch part of that security detail?" asked Rossi, and Hotch wished for a moment that he had never came out of retirement. He wasn't worth this much trouble!

"Yes," answered Emily, her brown eyes flashing to his for a moment.

"Ooooh! What was SSA Aaron Hotchner like as a young man?" asked Garcia greedily.

"Less stressed, still wore suits, " Everyone rolled their eyes at this, "He laughed a lot, and made some very boring days interesting," replied Emily.

"Was this when he was 'off' with Haley?" asked Morgan jokily. His expression turned to shock when Hotch answered the affirmative.

"Did anything happen between you two?" asked JJ curiously.

"Not in the way you're thinking," replied Hotch stonily.

"Not for lack of trying," replied Emily cheekily, grinning slightly.

"On his part or your's?" asked Morgan.

"Mine of course. Since when have I not been a predator?" laughed Emily.

"How could you turn down thee Emily Prentiss?" asked Garcia incredulously.

"She was drunk," deadpanned Hotch.

"Futher proof that Hotch's morals override junior," chuckled Rossi.

"Can we get on with this?" asked Hotch impatiently. He was getting rather uncomfortable at his sex life being brought up again and again. Surely there was something more interesting on the planet!

Something more interesting came up on the next spin.

It was Reid's turn.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thank you for the feedback! I'm sorry at how long this has taken me. Life hasn't been that great the past few months, and I lost the will to write humour. However, fighterchick asked me to write more and I hate disappointing so here it is. I'm sorry if it isn't as good as expected. I'll try and wrap this up soon, it definitely won't be as long a wait as last time!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds. :(_


	5. Chapter 5

Their resident genius gulped as the bottle landed on him. The deer-in-headlights look he was so famous for sporting looking all the more pronounced in the flickering light.

"Truth or dare?" asked Garcia, her smile resembling a shark.

"Statistically, your dares have been less embarrassing that the truths. Embarrassing moments are quickly forgotten, but some of the truths revealed will be in everyone's memory far longer and creates juicier gossip," Reid had entered Babble Mode, it generally happened in moments of extreme terror and Hotch almost took pity on him. Almost. He had just been through it after all.

"Just pick one Pretty Boy," said Morgan, giving Reid a playful shove.

"Dare," their youngest almost looked confident, placing his fate in the hands of statistics. Unfortunately Garcia was an exception to, well, everything.

"I dare you to try on one of the outfits in Emily's go-bag and give us a fashion show!" squealed the excited Computer Analyst.

"Why my clothes?" asked Emily immediately.

"Well he does fit your blouse quite well," snickered JJ, Hotch was inclined to agree with Garcia's logic.

"Fine," grumbled Reid, helping Emily up so she could retrieve her go-bag from beneath her desk.

Hotch had generously donated his office. This way Reid could strut his stuff down the ramp, but when he hadn't emerged after five minutes he got a little worried.

What was he doing in there?

Emily looked agitated as well, and he couldn't blame her. Those were her clothes after all!

"Maybe he's chickened out," suggested JJ.

"I think he's going to surprise us," said Rossi, turning a couple of the lamps to shine on the door of Hotch's office.

Moments later said door opened, but instead of Reid, all they heard was his nervous voice asking, "Do any of you have any music?"

"Done!" yelled Morgan after a few minutes of fiddling on his phone.

"One, two, three. Action!" yelled Garcia.

Whilst the starting bars to Justin Timberlake's Sexy Back played nothing happened.

Then quite quickly it did.

Reid was strutting, actually strutting! He wore one of the rare skirts that Emily had, showing off long, womanly legs. He still had on the red blouse, but he had undone a couple of the buttons at the top, showing a glimpse of pale chest. His mouth rested in a pout, his eyes trained on the wall behind all the Agents.

This wasn't what was shocking, however.

What really scared them was that he was good at it.

When he got to the end of the 'runway' he stopped. His left hand splayed out in front of him as if he was directing traffic. Moving so that they got a profile view, the light framed him, giving him a glow as he stood with his right hand perched on his hip in an almost diva like manner, his left still out in front of him. Slowing his face turned towards them again, a serious expression on his normally relaxed features. Cocking his head to the right, he actually winked, before strutting back into Hotch's office, the music ending as he slammed the door shut.

Everyone sat in silence.

Hotch never thought he had heard his team so quiet, but then sadly the spell broke and they were laughing. Garcia even had tears in her eyes!

When Reid eventually emerged, he was laughing as he handed Emily back her go-bag, and when they quietened down, Morgan clapped him on the back.

"If you were a woman, you would make on heck of a model!" Reid blushed at this.

"Hey! You can get male models too, and I think America just found her next best one!" squealed Garcia.

"Seriously, have you done that before, Reid?" asked Hotch, giving a rare smile.

"No," came the embarrassed squeak. Their genius had successfully reverted back to Shy Mode.

"I don't believe you," said Rossi, an amused glimmer in his eyes.

"Maybe it's just a talent?" mused JJ, going to Reid's defence.

"Hey!" yelled Garcia, "You're not allowed to put your blouse back on."

Emily blushed, her fingers halfway through the buttons, "Technically this is a different blouse."

"I think we should move on," said Hotch, a sense of finality in his voice, watching the phenomena known at Mount Garcia calm down slightly. At least his seriousness was good for something, and in no time at all Garcia was spinning the bottle again.

"Revenge is sweet," said Reid, seeing it had landed on the team's tormentor. To her credit, Garcia never even looked fazed.

"Truth or dare?" asked Emily, her eyes glittering dangerously as well.

"Truth," replied Garcia, examining her nails as if she was bored.

On one hand they wanted to embarrass her, but if there was one thing he knew about Penelope Garcia was that nothing embarrassed her, and on the other hand, the team wanted to leave this with the ability to pass a psyche eval.

It was a tough decision.

After a few minutes of puzzled looks and scrapped questions, Morgan eventually spoke up.

"What was your best sexual encounter?"

Garcia smiled widely at this, "Give me a moment to think."

Hotch wasn't really sure if he wanted to answer to this, but before he could stop it, the words were tumbling out of Garcia's mouth.

"I was at Comic-Con…" she started.

"And did some caped crusader sweep you off your feet?" asked Rossi, raising his eyebrows.

"Let me get to it!" snapped Garcia good naturedly, "I had just been to the ladies room when a man approached me. He was dressed as Superman, and so I got a pretty good view if you know what I'm saying. We chatted for a bit, and when I was leaving we randomly bumped into each other. It was like Fate, and well one thing led to another, but the gist of it is that Superman wasn't flying solo that night."

"You slept with Superman," deadpanned Hotch.

"Oh I more than slept with him," chuckled Garcia darkly. "Although I think the costume added to it quick a bit."

"So if I dressed up…?" asked Morgan.

"I'd rather you didn't, it was take longer to get you naked that way," said Garcia, pretending to think about it.

"Duly noted," replied Morgan grinning.

"Who's next!" asked Emily, eager to get Superman behind her.

JJ groaned when it landed on her.

"Truth or dare?" asked Garcia.

"Dare," replied JJ, her voice sounding as if she had resigned herself to the most brutal fate imaginable.

"I dare you to kiss Rossi," said Garcia, grinning devilishly.

"Are we really that childish?" asked JJ, looking like a lamb being led to the slaughter.

"Hey, I'm not complaining," shrugged Rossi, seeing JJ's look of horror. Hotch elbowed him in the ribs. Hard.

"It isn't as bad as what we've had to do," piped up Emily.

"It only takes a few hours to breakdown the person's saliva anyway," said Reid. At his words both JJ and Rossi looked a little ill.

"Funnily enough, that does not make me feel better, Spence," muttered JJ.

"Get on with it!" yelled Garcia, standing up and shoving the two of them together.

"Watch out, Garcia. Rossi is getting on a bit, you might break a bone," joked Hotch. If looks could kill, not even a cat would survive the glare that Rossi sent him.

It was done in a moment, but that moment was enough to make Hotch wish he could pour bleach into his brain. To their credit they were quite good, but then the lights came on. What they had been wishing for happened, but at the worse possible moment.

Seeing Rossi kissing someone in half darkness was bearable, in the light, however, it was nothing short of horrifying.

"What is the meaning of this?" and Hotch's heart sank when he heard Strauss's voice. Sure enough, when he turned his head, he saw the She Devil standing at the entrance to the bullpen.

"Erin, it's not what it looks like!" said Rossi calmly, moving away from JJ.

"It really, really isn't," backed up JJ.

"I saw what I saw. You two will attend a mandatory sexual harassment seminar this weekend. I believe it's Agent Hamley's class," Hotch wouldn't be surprised if Strauss sprouted horns.

"He's still with us? I thought that stick up his arse would have killed him long ago," muttered Rossi.

"Oh, he remembers you too. Enjoy," the smile she offered gave no warmth to the room.

"Why did you come down here, Ma'am?" asked Hotch, trying to take the heat off the two Agents.

"I came merely to tell you they have fixed the power. You may experience some more difficulties over the next few days. If you do, report them to me and I'll deal with it. Goodnight Agents," and with that Strauss was gone.

"Don't worry JJ, the seminar is actually quite fun. Hamley was pretty entertaining when I went there anyway," said Rossi calmly.

"But people will find out!" yelled JJ, a pained look crossing her face.

"I think I should be offended by that response…" murmured Rossi.

"How about we make a deal. No one finds out what happened tonight," said Hotch seriously.

"Oh, man, we can talk about it amongst ourselves right?" asked Morgan, "Reid being a model is too funny not to laugh at."

"I second that," said Emily.

"Fine, but no one else can find out!" amended Hotch.

"Deal," they all said at once.

* * *

><p><em>One Week Later<em>

"Agent Hotchner?" came a voice. If it was bad being stuck doing a budget report on a Monday morning, adding Strauss into the mix made it Hell.

"Yes, Ma'am?" he asked, taking a sip of his now lukewarm coffee. Lovely.

"I'm here to tell you that both your Agents passed their seminar with flying colours," replied Strauss, placing a relatively thick file on his desk. "Here is the summary, Agent Hamley had quite a lot to say."

"I can see that, is there anything else?" He really never had time for this.

"No, that is everything," Strauss was about to leave when she glanced over at his couch, "Ah, Agent Hotchner, why is there a bra stuffed down one of your couch cushions?"

Oh, he was going to kill Reid!

* * *

><p><em>AN: Sorry this is so late! I've had it written for a week and forgot to publish it - gonna blame the amount of overtime I'm doing, my brain cannot handle it! Anyway, I hope you have enjoyed this despite my awful updates! Reviews would be appreciated, and I want to thank those who have reviewed so far - although I should have sent out PM's doing that too… What can I say, I'm grateful!_

_DISCLAIMER: I do not own Criminal Minds, but I do own Hotch… What do you mean he is fictional?!_


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